Did you know about ‘Highly Sensitive People’?

Photo by Providence Doucet on Unsplash

Hello hello everyone!

Happy new year first of all! I know it’s a tad late but as they say better late than never. I hope you all have a wonderful year filled with amazing experience of growth, love and goodness. ❤

Okay so on to the title of this blog post now.

On Wednesday, I learned about being a highly sensitive person by watching this video talking about the “six signs you are a highly sensitive person“. And in that video this particular part grabbed my attention the most.

“This is not something that you should be ashamed of and you should understand that having a highly sensitive soul means that you feel very deeply, have a big heart and appreciate the beauty in the world.”

That sentence basically describes me in a nutshell. I am a lover of beauty, of all things beautiful because they just fill my soul with so much happiness and I always thought that I had too big a heart which I often found to be extremely annoying growing up because it made me feel different that my compassion and empathy could feel so strongly more so than those around me.

I also do feel deeply but I just never knew that all these things put together actually ended up labelling a person as being “something” if that’s the right term to use.  That feeling of realising that it wasn’t something weird or abnormal and only related to you but that it was something that existed and there were others like you. That’s what I mean and it was damn good to realise that!

But confession time, I didn’t just learn about Highly Sensitive People or HSPs that day. I actually came across the term and found out about it two years ago, in 2016. Before then I knew absolutely nothing!! So you can imagine how huge a discovery it was for me when I did back then. Very eye opening indeed. But back to the video, the 6 sighs are as follows;

1. You are intuitive

   Which means I’ve got this special ability that allows me to know about things in an inexplicable way and if I actually pay attention to it and follow it, it can help me out significantly. Thing is though, I’ve had trouble with this particular one for the longest time. This ‘gut feeling’ that suddenly and ever so quietly whispers or sometimes it’s a big loud unavoidable flash. Whichever way it presented itself I just didn’t know what to make of it and oftentimes simply never really listened only to later go ‘oh okay’. It took me a long time to get used to and it’s only now that I’m actually allowing myself to get better acquainted with this super power!

2. You feel negativity “strongly”

   Now this second one is what I need to elaborate on because it gave me a sudden OMG moment. “You also find yourself avoiding negativity in the media such as the news, violent movies or tv shows because you cannot tolerate the violence.” That, right there is so true! I stopped watching the news years ago because

3. You are sensitive to environmental stimuli

   With this particular one what I noticed that I can be extremely sensitive to the weather — I know if the temperature dropped in the winter and if it’s risen in the summer which makes me unable to tolerate extremes on both ends. Plus, funny story remember the story of the princess and the pea? Though I found that to be an exaggeration when I first encountered the story, I did remember it later when I found myself feeling great discomfort at minute particles such as crumbs in my bed sheets come bedtime.

4. You are frequently fatigued

   I don’t really relate to this one so don’t have anything to add here.

5. People tell you…

   That I’m too sensitive, yep. Heard that one many a time. But I’ve also been told that I’m easy to talk to and found people confide in me which is a nice thing really. That ‘you’re a great listener’ part I suppose applies as well.

6. You are highly imaginative and have an active inner life

   I’m a creative writer and have always been drawn to writing stories since a young age. It’s also been a really good coping mechanism whenever I’d fall into depression in the past. Though I do admit that I might also use it as a form escapism when I don’t want to deal with irl things except now that I’m much more mindful of it I don’t really succumb to that as much. As a lover of beauty, art has always been close to my heart though admittedly I haven’t been as creatively inclined as I would like drawing and painting wise the last couple of years. Hopefully this year that’ll change. And lastly, I’ve noticed cats are often drawn to me as I am to them and I do honestly prefer their company to that of humans most times.

At the end 5 out 6 isn’t too bad, eh? Anyhoo, this has been informative and fun to go through too. I do hope you have managed to find it so as well. Till the next time, much love! ❤

It’s the smallest things

Hello hello everyone!

When was the last time you actually just stopped and noticed a flower growing through the cracks of concrete, admiring the great resolve it must have taken it to grow through that?

Or when was the last the time you woke up early and watched the sun rise and as it did revel in the calm stillness of your surroundings and just being thankful for rising earlier than the rest of those around you to witness this amazing splendor?

When was the last time you watched a bird come on your window sill or balcony to grab a little piece of bread you left it and it made your heart fill up?

Say thanks. Photo by Erico Marcelino on Unsplash

Coincidentally, this photo’s entitled say thanks and encompasses the gist of things really. For it is through gratitude that appreciation comes about. And those little things bring about gratitude which cultivates appreciation and nourishes our sense of wonder along with it.

Through the busyness (mispelled purposely btw) of life we tend to forget those little moments of gratitude that actually help fuel the heart and nourish the soul. Too busy with following our daily routines and making certain we chug through our lists and chores until evening comes and the cycle repeats itself once again. Everyone’s guilty of getting lost in routine, me included. But I’ve also consciously decided to take a little time for myself in between things and notice those little things.

Just yesterday as I came into my office I stopped and my eyes fell on two white little flowers growing through the most unlikely place and I just had to take a picture (because we’re just so used to snapping photos with our phones now, aren’t we?). A keepsake and a reminder of yes that happened and wow how amazing that was. A memory that’s sure to bring a smile the next time I see it. Thank goodness for our smartphones now, hm?

As for the sun rising, I’m guilty of not seeing it in a long, long while. But I am often reminded of this wonderful memory whenever I think of it that happened two years ago when I was doing my Masters in Oslo, Norway. Back then I used to wake up pretty early and make myself breakfast before I rush to catch the morning t-bane (subway).

But one Sunday morning, I remember looking out the large balcony window of the kitchen and taking in how quiet it was. It must have been 7 something am and on weekdays one would see busy students rushing off to catch their respective trains but since it was the weekend, all was silent. It was eerily so even but it wasn’t the creepy kind.

It was more serene and I remember feeling utterly at peace in that moment. That memory stuck since then and is a happy one. One that’s lasted for a long while ( 2 years is a long time, right?)

That is the joy of those little moments, they may be small but they have the biggest impact sometimes.

Good ol’ Winnie the pooh said it best,

I urge you to take a little time out of your busy schedules and find time for those little things. You owe it to yourself. 🙂

xoxo

Amelle

 

If you liked this post, I’d love to hear your thoughts. So don’t be shy and shoot me a comment. I’ll be sure to respond asap! Loads of love ❤

Setbacks

Hello hello everyone!

I’d like to start off my blog post today with a little confession that I honestly need to make. You see, I had set a schedule out for myself and decided okay I’ll be posting on thursdays and maybe tuesdays too. So it was my intention to make it twice a week when I first made this blog. But somewhere along the line I ended up missing even making a post on thursday (yeah there was nothing this thursday). But here we are and even though it’s not according to schedule I had originally set out on I still think it’s much much better than nothing. Wouldn’t you agree?

You see I know it’s always good to stick to a schedule and to do things according to it. I learned that in organisation and that’s how you get things done, ideally.  But I also know that sometimes things don’t go according to plan and when that happens you need to able to be flexible and just go with the flow so to speak.

So now, let’s get down to the reason why I wasn’t able to make my thursday post day. I could list a plethora of reasons and they would be valid in my mind but the biggest, truest reason would be. I just didn’t know what to write. Call it a lack of inspiration. Maybe even confusion. Or is it direction?

Either way, I was just blank. I recognised that my second post seemed a little too dry (something like an academic paper believe me I know how dry those can be, no disrespect tho!) I didn’t want my third going in that direction too and turning the blog from it’s original intention.

So I was stumped and hence I didn’t do anything.

Photo by Erik-Jan Leusink on Unsplash

It happens. I know.

But it’s through reflection, awareness and being able to recognise things that one is able to come back from setbacks. So here I am coming back from that setback. Anything new often takes time getting used to, setting it into a routine and making it a part of your everyday. The important thing is not to lose sight of the original goal, no matter what may come along the way. This quote awesomely conveys my sentiments.

“Giving up on your goal because of one setback is like slashing your other three tires because you got a flat.”

I don’t need to slash my other tires. I just need to get up, work on my flat and drive on ahead at full speed. Slow is good too though sometimes. 😉 Anyhoo, that’s the lesson of the week and I’m glad for it.

I aim to stick to a schedule because that will increase my chances for success. And lastly, I will try my best to not let anything get in the way of my writing. So here goes, on with the show!

Let’s continue climbing up these steps now shall we?

November’s already and it’s the fourth today. How time flies I love this time of year. It’s truly wonderful. I wish you all have an amazingly inspiring month ahead.

xoxo

Amelle ❤

West meets East in the pursuit of happiness: Stoicism and Buddhism

Photo by Josh Felise on Unsplash

There’s  been a good deal of talk on Stoicism as of late, about how it may be applied and what it really means. The same could be said about buddhism and the raise of mindfulness these past couple years. Though both schools of thought are different there are fundamental similarities that tie them, particularly regarding one’s pursuit of happiness in life.

Stoicism is an ancient Greco-Roman philosophy. A philosophy of the western world that is turn quite similar to its Eastern counterpart, Buddhism. Stoicism was founded in Athens by Zeno of Citium in the early third century BC. The philosophy is based on the idea that virtue (and the four cardinal virtues of self-control, courage, justice and wisdom) leads to happiness and it is our perception of things — rather than the things themselves– that cause most of our troubles. The ideal for the Stoic, as with the Buddhist, is to show complete composure and self control in the face of adversity.

Buddhism, on the other hand, is a religion that was founded by Siddhartha Gautama. He was a sheltered prince his entire life who was shocked by the suffering he saw when he ventured out into the world. Siddhartha meditated and afterwards concluded that the cause of all suffering is desire. All things in this life are temporary, clinging to them only causes disappointment and much unhappiness. The desires we have in this life aid in producing a karma which results in our being reborn after death, because of our longing for life. The ultimate goal of a Buddhist is to eliminate this suffering (dukkha) and reach nirvana, a state of pure non-desire.

This quote from Marcus Aurelius, a Roman emperor best known for his meditations on Stoic philosophy, should undoubtedly adhere with any Buddhist practitioner;

“Every hour focus your mind attentively…on the performance of the task in hand, with dignity, human sympathy, benevolence and freedom, and leave aside all other thoughts. You will achieve this, if you perform each action as if it were your last…”

Stoicism teaches that all people have value while at the same time denying the importance of wealth and social status.

The Stoic philosopher Epictetus taught that one should be a staunch philanthropist, because we are creations of a generous and giving God. Epictetus also taught that rationality ought to be the key to virtue and happiness (but not a happiness that is solely conditional on outside events), while passion is sure to lead to suffering and vice. This is similar to Buddhism, where desire is what causes suffering, however for the Buddhist it is the renunciation of desire rather than reason which is the key to enlightenment.

That said however, many seem to believe that the sum total of the philosophy of Stoicism is to simply be able to take all the misfortunes and slights that life and nature throw at you. To the people who believe this, they see their use of stoicism as a great stone wall, standing strong, upright and true. Firmly holding back all that negativity, or knocking it straight off of themselves. They see it as a giant mountain, there to weather the storm. But the wall will eventually fall, and the mountain will collapse.

The 14th Dalai Lama mentions with regard to suffering and one’s ability to finding happiness that:

“When you think everything is someone else’s fault, you will suffer a lot. When you realise that everything springs only from yourself, you will learn both joy and peace.”

 

This also adheres to the belief that in holding back negativity and making the realisation of when one turns inward or within instead of placing blame on the external world. Then one would be able to grasp that both the good and bad– everything springs from our perception of it. It is that awareness that would bring us both happiness as well as peace.

But what of our perception regarding our external world or the universe then?

The Stoics believe that the entire universe is one, and that it is filled with a divine essence or God. However, in Buddhism, there is no creator God, but rather an endless chain of causality. Buddhist ethics revolve around karma, which means that good or bad acts result in better or worse lives when a person is reborn.

Photo by Liam Pozz on Unsplash

Though both of Stoicism and Buddhism differ is in their explanations of how the world works. The critical part where they connect is this: both of these schools of thought can be used to improve your life and make you a calmer and wiser human being.

While the Stoics do not believe in reincarnation and place emphasis on the acceptance of death as an important part of the natural process of the world.

In Stoicism, it is our interpretation of events which causes us to be either happy or unhappy, not the intrinsic quality of the events of our lives. That is why it’s so important to not allow one’s self to react to outside events. Otherwise one may end up feeling as though life is truly treating them unjustly, when they could have merely exercised their ability to not allow any upsetting event to end up making them feel unhappy.

 

By being one with the natural order of things — with life and how it flows with both the good and the bad — it is only then that we are able to achieve a greater sense of serenity and a higher sense of happiness.

 

 

 

My not so first blog post

I have always had this wonderful and inexplicable connection with writing throughout my life. Through one form or the other I’ve always been someone who enjoys writing. Even if my writing may not be the best there is. That never mattered. Because to me, I am someone who feels at my most best when I am writing. Writing has always been my outlet. My most favoured way of expressing myself, even better than speaking!

I used to journal back in the early 2000s on livejournal. I also used to creatively write through roleplaying back then as well on various forums, facebook and still do so today on tumblr. Then came along the blogging craze and for the longest time, I’ve been wanting to start a blog. Ever since I learned about blogging back in 2010 I thought ‘hey, this would be cool. i can write so why not?’ And yet for some reason I just never did. I would read blog posts, think they were cool but never write one of my own.

Even if I knew that I can write, there was always something else that kept me from following through with it.

Do you want to know what that thing was?

It was me thinking that what I had to say was just not good enough, that who would want to read my posts, that I’m not that important so why bother? Those thoughts despite being quite negative are also called limiting beliefs. It was these limiting beliefs, though quite untrue, that kept me from pursuing something I truly wished to do.

There was also another challenge that I seemed to be suffering from and quite literally have been ignoring for the longest time now and that is my reluctance in “showing myself” to the world. Perhaps it could be called shyness, bashfulness, being super reserved or more accurately a lack of confidence in myself and maybe even my abilities.

What I think is it was a mix of all those things put together plus a little more too. I know I have much to offer to the world. Everyone does in their own unique way and manner. But I let my negativity rule over me for so long. I won’t lie, the negativity has been something of a struggle I have been coping with on and off since my uni days. Plus, being an introvert does magnify those qualities if you don’t work on overcoming them.

Some days have been good, most days not so much. It hasn’t been until two years ago that I’ve managed to embark on the path of personal development which has helped me learn how to cope with it better. It all started with a book I read called “forty rules of love” by Elif Shafak. Here’s one of my favourite quotes from it,

 “Whatever happens in your life, no matter how troubling things might seem, do not enter the neighborhood of despair. Even when all doors remain closed, God will open up a new path only for you. Be thankful!”

My path to being self awareness and being grateful began with that book and I never looked back since. I’m still learning, still developing, still growing and simply enjoying every moment of the process.

The Mobius Arch Loop Trailhead, United States

So I have a little confession to make. This isn’t exactly my first blog post. I have tried my hand at writing before, on medium last year. I wrote maybe three posts and then just stopped. Call it a lack of consistency or lack of clarity or maybe even a case of just not growing bored? Whatever the reason was I didn’t pursue it and if I’m being honest I think it was because I just didn’t know what to write. It happens sometimes. You start something and then just stop. But not this time. I’m giving it another go and I know that this time it’ll be different.

But then before I decided and made the firm decision to take action and do it, there was also the problem of when to start actually. I’ve been asked by some to start a blog and even though it has been something I wanted to do I never really got around to actually doing it!

However, as I’ve learned recently, there just isn’t such a thing as the “right” time or the “perfect” time. I ran into this quote yesterday and it just made smile because it told me right then and there that yes, I had to start. No waiting, just go ahead and do it!

Over the next few weeks, I plan to write, develop and publish posts regarding topics that are important to me. But right now, TODAY, I pledge to myself (and anyone reading this now) that I commit fully to this journey of blogging and will not shy away from the hard work and commitment it takes to making this goal a reality. I look forward to writing and seeing how I will transform mentally and spiritually in the process. ❤